Heard about the cliche that Paris is the most beautiful city in the world? They’re probably right. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, but there probably isn’t another city in the world that has had the amount of work put in to make it aesthetically beautiful as compared to Paris. The attention to detail that Parisians pay to their city makes you wonder if the whole city is full of people with a mild form of OCD. Let me give you an example. There is an axis of Paris known as the “Axe historique” (yes, say it in your French accent), on which lie many historically significant buildings, monuments and thoroughfares.
Parisians like to keep the city perfectly symmetrical across this axis, or atleast as much as they can. So, it’s difficult to keep symmetry but as you get closer to the axis, you can see the effort put into trying to keep this symmetry (especially in the Tuileries Garden). Someone in the early 2000’s, calculated that The Louvre was 13 degrees off from this axis, so there was a petition to move The Louvre brick by brick to get in line with this axis, and the budget for the project was set to 300 million euros. I wonder if this petition was before or after the economic meltdown. The petition thankfully didn’t go through, and common sense was saved from hitting an all time low. Maybe someone enlightened them that they could buy cheese and wine with that money, I don’t know.
By the way, these stories were told to me on one of the Sandeman’s walking tours from a French guy who suspiciously sounded American from time to time. So I am pretty sure they’re true. I tried very hard to find an article of this online, but I believe only the French media reported it and made sure the madness did not leave France.
I am going to tell you a few other stories I was told to spread outside of France by the French-American, and this is the first time you’re going to hear about it. The world needs to know. Know about the Arc de Triomphe? It is the most famous monument in Paris. Ok, second. Alright, maybe a close third. Anyway, this is a monument honors those who fought and died for France in the French Revolutionary and Napoleonic wars, with the names of all French generals inscribed on its inner and outer surfaces. And beneath it, lies the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier from WW1 (I wonder who is in it!).
There is a fire that burns in the center of the monument that has been put out thrice. The first time was during WW2. The second time was in 1998, when Brazil lost to France in the World Cup final, and a disgruntled drunk Mexican (supporting Brazil naturally because it’s closer to Mexico than France) decided to pee on the fire and put it out. He was later deported with no chance ever of coming back to the EU. The French officials decided to put up a fence around the fire to prevent people from peeing into the fire (sounds like a challenge). The third time was when two drunk Australians thought they could cook their pork sausages and dropped the sausages in the fire and the fire was put out. They were also sent back without the chance of ever coming back to the EU. The French officials then increased the size of the fence to prevent people from barbecuing.
 |
| See the two fences corroborating this story? |
If you want to lose someone in a car chase, the roundabout around the Arc de Triomphe is the perfect place to do so. There are around a dozen massive roads leading into this roundabout where all the laws of traffic break down. So, in essence, it is like a black hole. Arc de Triomphe = laws of traffic break down, black hole = laws of physics break down? A little bit of a stretch maybe, but I don’t think even Matthew McConaughey can make it out of this one.
There are a few other stories about water fountains and about Napoleon and the Pope, which I shall tell you over some beer, and that probably isn’t true either. But when I was googling the previous story, I came across this:
Some dude giving credit to Sandeman’s for the story that I just told you. (He mentions the fire being put out twice, but I was listening more intently and stand my ground and say thrice. The first time seems the most legit anyway)
The city is absolutely beautiful and saying anything less than that is not doing justice enough. I met some really interesting people from Argentina (No, they did not like Messi) and also met two fellow Wolverines! Who would’ve thought. Interestingly enough, they weren’t the only wolverines I met in Europe. Can the world get any smaller!
The Eiffel Tower was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. You’ve probably seen it in photos and 3D models, it looks exactly like that. Just kidding, it looks way more authoritative. It wants to be seen. It wants to be admired. It demands it.
After sunset, lights that are set up on the Eiffel Tower light up in a form of epileptic trance that just gives you a sense of overwhelming beauty. It is something you definitely need to check out in person.
One thing that you definitely need to be aware of are pickpockets, they will get you out of no where man. I lost 100 euros on the first day itself at the Montmartre, and thankfully it was only the money. You might not find a wine shop but you will definitely find a sign that says “Beware of pickpockets”. At the Louvre, Montmartre, Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame cathedral, sidewalk number 1, sidewalk number 2 etc, and I could just name a hundred more places. It’s everywhere!
I had an awesome experience and I would definitely want to go back soon, even though I vowed never to come back after I lost the 100 euros (I was extremely cash-strapped). And you should go check it out too! Oh, I almost forgot to talk about the Mona Lisa. It’s overrated.
Vagabonder 